So I says to myself, "Self, what in the dog can you blog about that would make your fan base of 5 come back for more?" "What will keep their interest and coming back time after time?" Well, as you who are bloggers yourself know, there ain't no sure-fire way to guarantee readership. So, I am going to just put what I got out there and we'll see what sticks.
To say I have led a squeeky clean life is a little misleading. In fact there are those in my past that would fall down in a fit of uncontrollable laughter to hear me say that. Yes, I have been a church-going person as long as I can remember. Before The Clinton Administration, before disco music, before Viet Nam and just about Davey Crockett-Wonderful World of Disney time. Yep, I was there in my regular pew in a garden-variety you-seen-one-you-seen-them-all Methodist church in the beautiful, oft-given-up-for-dead town of Midland, Texas every Sunday. In those days and possibly still is today, the main goal of any Methodist church in West Texas was to make sure the preacher knew that we needed to be OUT of there, having sung the final hymn, (altar call?? HA!), and walking out elbowing anyone in our way, no later that 11:50am. PERIOD. The Methodist Church back then replaced their pastors every two years, and if the pastor at our church didn't adhere to the 11:50am time, he would mysteriously be replaced before that 2 yr period. Why all the importance on this 11:50am time, you ask? Two reason actually: Beat the Baptist to Furrs Cafeteria, and during football season: The Dallas Cowboys. You may think of this as a little unreasonable and certainly bordering on blasphemy, but that would be far from the truth. Dallas Cowboy fans are some of the most religious people on the face of the Earth. They even built him a stadium with a hole in it so He could see them play; and even their coach was rumored to have walked on water. Now, as far as the Methodist-Baptist thing is concerned, I have never seen any group of people go at it so furiously and viciously as the Methodist & the Baptist did just to get to Furrs before the other. Groups that only minutes earlier had been singing angelic praises to The Almighty were now plotting to disrupt traffic so the other couldn't get to the cafeteria before them. You never saw a Methodist-Catholic feud, or a Baptist-Church of Christ feud, just the Methodist-Baptist thing.. Go figure....
Now, when it came to church league basketball, it was the Latter Day Saints boys that played the dirtiest. They would come in and shake hands before the game and play all nice until the buzzer went off to start the game and all of a sudden elbows flying, tripping, and all sorts of fouls came from these guys. Oh sure, after the game they were all nice again, but during the game...watch out. It didn't seem quite Christian to do such a thing, but they were really good at it. Usually by the time we had had enough and started plotting revenge, the game was out of reach and it made us look even more pitiful. Mental notes,boys, mental notes.... the NEXT time we play these yahoos.....
Being in church every Sunday didn't stop all the temptations a kid my age would have, you just were expected to be able to "resist" them and repent on Sundays if you slipped. Alcohol and tobacco were pretty much the "tempters", along with petty vandalism, so a kid my age had plenty to get in trouble with. But I held it down to just a few things here and there. I sure as heck didn't want to turn out like Doug Roberts.
Rewind about 3 years................
Next post: Why Do Things Happen the Way They Do OR "Toto, People Come and Go So Quickly Here"
Love it! It took even longer to get out of the Methodist Church building when George DeHart had all the choirs singing on Sunday. Had to put up the robes and music and listen to Mr. DeHart's debriefing. By the time we got to Furrs on those days, the line was out the door and they were all of mac and cheese.
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